you can't build a house with rotted wood
a poem
my acupuncturist tells me my negativity is making me sicker i eat resentment for dinner and store it in my large intestine my brain is smog but not any worse than the thick gray pulsing down the 101 between that and my dirty windshield i can hardly make out the hollywood sign i look at old photos and try to remember what i was dreaming for there’s a man on the facebook group stalking the neighborhood it's been two weeks since my last walk in the park we go downtown to protest and i expect it to taste like hope i leave with the bitter sour of fear between my gums jacaranda trees stain the streets purple they're caught in a world between dr. seuss and the adams family how many deaths can you imagine before breakfast i eat guilt for lunch and it hitches in my esophagus the man at the cafe says he has the mind of a goldfish my father once said i had the brain of an elephant olivia you remember everything the body keeps the score i watch a woman get hit by a car on wednesday fear has me by the throat so long my limbs go numb despite all my preparing i lose what to do the cops get my statement wrong so i walk away my friends silence makes me mad again grease glares at me in the mirror where anger clogs my temples at any moment i could stop pushing the boulder up the hill i let the car door scratch and scar my leg in case i deserve it my sister forgets to remind me about watering the plants i dream i throw the parmesan cheese rind away it sits sticky on the counter in the morning ireland looks lovely this time of year sometimes peace is the hardest war to wage i drink grief in the moments between meals the salt makes my tongue grow thick in my mouth what is small talk to a bonfire my professors would have a lot to say about this reality fights like the pressure between two magnets my phone finds my thumb like a third hand i've confused the black mirror for a magic 8 ball white jasemine is on its last legs some days i wish for a rainstorm i thought the nail gun was a flash bang i thought the flash bang was a bomb i look at old photos and try to remember what i was dreaming for